Silly Season

Ando a estudar inglês em ementas de restaurante:

Ementa (And Mint)

Entradas (Way In)
Presunto pata negra (black paw ham)
Queijinhos de Azeitão (little cheeses from Big Olive Oil Land)
Amêijoas à Bulhão Pato (Clams in the manner of the ver-fighting duck)
Cadelinhas à algarvia (little bitches from the Algarve)
Percebes (do you understand?)

Sopas (Soups)
Sopa de nabos saloia (Soup of stupid peasants)
Caldo de penca com coentros (Nose broth with ass entries)
Sopas do Espírito Santo (Soup especiality from Espírito Santo Bank)

Peixes e Mariscos (Fishes and Gays)
Imperador no sal (Salty emperor)
Caldeirada à fragateiro (Broiler in the frigate’s commander style)
Arroz de navalhas da ilha de Faro (Knives rice from the island of Ferry)
Choquinhos na sua tinta (Little shocks in their own ink)
Bacalhau assado com batatas a murro (Grilled codfish with punch violent potatoes)
Jaquinzinhos com açorda (Little Jackies with bread pudding)
Bacalhau com todos (Codfish with everybody)
Delícias do Mar com saladinha de tomate (Sea delight with a darling little tomato salad)
Arroz de Lampreia malandro à moda de Entre-os-Rios (Bastard’s lamprey rice done in the manner of between rivers)

Carnes (Meats)
Frango à cafreal (Chicken from the black people)
Carne de porco à alentejana (Pork meat alentejana style)
Jantar da matança em vinha d’alhos (Dinner massacre with garlic wine)
Rancho à moda de Viseu (A ranch like the one we had in Viseu)
Mão de vaca à jardineira (The cow hand in the gardener’s way)
Arroz de Frango malandrinho à moda do Porto (Harbour’s small bandit chicken rice)
Iscas com elas (Baits with girls)

Acompanhamentos (Keeping company)
Peixinhos da Horta (Small fish from the orchard)
Feijão frade (Friar bean or cyclists)

Sobremesas (Over the tables)
Toucinho do céu (Bacon from heaven)
Macedónia de frutas com gelado (Fruits with ice from an old part of Yugoslavia)
Bolo podre da Madeira (Rotten cake made out of wood)
Bolo delícia da avó (My grandmother is delightful as a cake)
Delícia do chefe (The chef is also a nice guy)
Baba de camelo (The camel is going to spit on you)
Rabanadas douradas (Golden asses)
Tarte antiga de gila (Gill is an old tart!)
Queijo da serra com marmelada (Mountain cheese with foreplay)